[QD] Nameless Monster

Booting this up again to get my thoughts going. I’ve promised myself to start working on these once I get a Surface Pro out. But its been 2 months and I’m still slumped. I had struggles working with colour, and at times, my bad habits on the pencil got translated poorly into the digital brushes. But, aside from that, I know that I’m improving bit by bit. As long as I don’t feel complacent/accomplished after every milestone, I can push through with my ideals and plans.

Meanwhile, here are some of the stuff that I’ve been doodling at work while I don’t feel like using the tablet. Honestly, I still feel that I have ways to go for digital painting, it frustrates me to no end. So, until that time comes, pencil sketches for now. I’ll probably post WIPs on my FB. And eventually revive my pixiv once I’m confident with my work.

 

I’ll try to work on some write-ups, been wanting to expound my ideas on a few games/books that I’ve finished (looking at you, Mistborn’s first trilogy and Tales of Berseria).

While saying all this, I know I’ll easily flinch if I let my complacency get to me. The last 3 years have been the pay-off from a lot of my struggles, my pains, my convictions. And despite getting some of the bigger targets off my bucket list made me really happy, it made things really hard for me to put in more effort and let myself struggle more for the rest of the list.

Complacency, the cradle of comfort keeps on looming over me, asking me to slow down, unwind. The thing is, the more I let this consume me, the less I see of that ideal being realised. The ideal that I pictured from years ago. The dreams that led me down this path; The change I want to see.

It’s not a monster that you can aptly associate with ‘complacency’, it spans to so many things, so many thoughts.

While writing this, I’ve watched through 3 animu episodes already. I can really feel it weighing down on me.

Or maybe, I’m just tired.